Women and a whole lot of Vaginas

April 9th, 2008

Last Friday, the Times of India, Bangalore brought down from Bombay, Mahabanoo Mody-Kotwal’s production of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. For those who don’t know, The Vagina Monologues is an Obie Award-winning episodic play written by Eve Ensler which ran at the off-Broadway Westside Theatre after a limited run at HERE Arts Center in 1996. It is made up of a varying number of monologues read by a varying number of women. These monologues were written by Ensler after interviewing more than 200 women worldwide. Each year she adds a new monologue to the collection.

If you haven’t seen a production, I recommend you do or at least read the script if you can get hold of it. If you’re in India, Mahabanoo Mody-Kotwal’s is the best (and best-known) rendition with over 75 shows around the country so far.

Of course, in Times Of India’s inimitable style, we were only told that there would be a showing of the play on Wednesday, with no mention of who was performing it! Even at the show, there were no brochures or handouts – highly cheap considering the pots of money that they make.

Still the performance was worth the ToI bullsh*t. While Dolly Thakore seems to be getting a little past her prime, the other three actors were really really good. While the monologues ranged from stories of rape and genital mutilation to body image and sexuality, what I liked best was the fact that these women were being completely unapologetic about their needs and wants and desires. It was an extremely positive way of looking at women and their vaginas, rather than the usual “why bother about what women want” kind of attitude that tends to prevail in India.

Watching the play made me think of an oddity in the human condition. Women have the only organ solely existing for pleasure – the clitoris. In fact, the clitoris has 8000 nerve fibres, more than double the number in the penis. So women can have better (more powerful) orgasms than men. They also can have vaginal orgasms (and vaginal+clitoral orgasms). Some women have been known to have orgasms just by clenching their vaginal muscles!! And of course, there is the multiple-orgasm.

Us poor men have nothing compared to this. And still we want sex more. We want it so much more that we are willing to rape, to molest, to coerce, to visit prostitutes, to watch porn and masturbate – anything to have an orgasm. And it isn’t even nearly as great as what women can have.

And yet, 19% of women have never experienced orgasm.

I bet that men are just trying to have that elusive five-minute-long mind-blowing-vaginal-clitoral-multiple orgasm. They are desperate cause they know it’ll never happen.

And women? Well, hell – at least masturbate!! You’re wasting something incredible. Don’t let us men take it away from you. Follow the example of the woman who became a prostitute to women just to hear them moan.

Moan and come. It’s apparently one of the most satisfying things out there.

And we will bemoan our lack of vaginas.

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